Thursday, May 17, 2012

Today is not yesterday.

Yesterday was a super crappy day.  From start to finish, I was in a bad mood.  I really had no reason to be.  I guess maybe some of it could be chalked up to pregnancy hormones running amok or not getting enough sleep but whatever the reasoning behind it, I was a super grump.  I felt incompetent as a mother and reached total panic mode about having kid #5.  By the afternoon, everything had me on the verge of tears and my kids learned too quickly that I had absolutely lost every bit of patience.  It's the only time I've really come close to texting the word "snapped" to Dan.  (That is our code word for if I need to get away, right now... as in I'm about to snap and do something really crazy... please come home and save me & the kids... (if you're reading this and don't know me very well, please don't call Child Protective Services on me, just know that I would never truly snap or ever, ever, ever hurt my kids.))  By the time Dan got home from work I had calmed myself down considerably but still couldn't manage to respond with anything but tears to his innocent question, "So, do you want to tell me about your day?"  Poor guy, he didn't know what to do with me and had to even hesitantly ask permission to give me a hug... I was a mess!!

Well, I went to bed determined to make sure that today would not be a repeat of yesterday.  There is only one true way that I know how to start my day off on a positive note and that is by going for a run.  Before I went to bed, I got out my running gear and set my alarm.  When it went off this morning, instead of thinking how much nicer another hour of sleep could be, I hopped (ha ha, yeah right, still very pregnant here... more like inchwormed) out of bed to a nice and quiet still sleeping house.  I dressed quickly and headed outside for a much needed recovery run.  Recovery from the race, recovery from yesterday's day, just recovery in general.  It wasn't a super long run, only 3 miles and it definitely wasn't very fast.  It was however, exactly what I needed and today has been so much better because of it.

It's really easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and let them ruin your day and sometimes it is okay to be really sad and cry for no apparent reason... but it sure feels a lot better to be happy.  I might not always be able to start my day off with a run, but I can definitely start it off with a new attitude because after all, today is not yesterday... it's a brand new day and full of nothing but good possibilities.


Amber said...

I really needed to see this post today. My life is in chaos right now and I'm just trying to get through the next couple weeks without "snapping." You are so right though, it feel much better to be happy. :)

Jen said...

Totally there right now! I love the idea of the code word, we need to figure one out for us. Sometimes I just say to my husband that I need a shower. I think he knows that is my escape. :) My poor shower has seen many a tears, especially after I was adjusting to my stay at home mom role.
I was very short with my kids today, now looking at them laying in bed I feel quite guilty! Tomorrow is a new day.

Jane said...

So true! I love starting my day out that way. I know when my little one arrives, that may change a little, but you are so right and I'm glad it helped you start out in a better frame of mind!

And your comment about inchworming out of bed is so true. ha! Getting up and down has gotten...challenging. :)

Dick said...

Glad you managed to make it through the day without going beserk on my grandkids!! I found out a couple of years ago that when we lived in The Dalles your mom would sometimes have to just leave the house to keep from killing everyone. I had no clue that that was happening...just like Dan, I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss. The next time you get ready to explode just take a good long look at your little monsters and realize how lucky you really are.

Hang in there! #5 (that's probably actually a good name, if you haven't picked one yet) will be here in a couple of days.