Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's lost...

my motivation is lost.  I can't remember the last time that I had to actually talk myself into going for a run.  Okay, that isn't entirely true... it was last Saturday (and it ended up being a fantastic run), however before that (which is really when this started) I was always more than eager to step out the door.

Monday I had all my clothes laid out and ready to go so that I could get up early and get my run in before the day started.  That used to be my favorite time of day to run... when most of the world was still sleeping.  I would load up on all of my reflective gear, put on my head lamp and slip away into the darkness for some beautiful solitude.  When I'd get home, no one would even be up yet and it would be like this little secret that I had.  Ha ha, I ran 8 miles while you were all still asleep.  When my alarm went off on Monday, though, I just laid there in bed.  I tried to talk myself into getting up, but I couldn't do it.  Eventually I gave in and went back to sleep.  Feeling bad for skipping my planned early morning run, after I took my day care kids home (I'm watching 2 kids, 3 times a week now) I gave Jonny and Leona a snack and we headed out for a quick 6 miles.  When all was said and done, it was a great run.  They both fell asleep and stayed asleep when we got home, which allowed me to take a shower (for as long as I wanted) without wondering if anyone (Jonny) was trying to burn the house down.

Tuesday was a planned rest day.  I accomplished that quite easily.  :)

Yesterday, Wednesday, was a tricky one.  Wednesday's are early release for my grade school kids.  They get home a little after 1pm instead of 3pm.  Wednesday, I also desperately needed to go to a department type store.  If I went for a run, there wouldn't be enough time to also go to a store while Emme and Calvin were at school (and I really, really didn't want to take all 4 of them).  However, if I went to the store then I wouldn't get a run in.  Dan suggested that I run in the evening after dinner.  Although a very decent option, I just wasn't feeling it either.  Yesterday, I managed to use up the last little bit of motivation I had.  I found motivation in multitasking.  There is a store exactly 4.5 miles from my doorstep that would work for my shopping and also give me a nice 9 miles on the day.  With the storage under my stroller I was able to get the items I needed, get Leona and Jonny a decent nap and get my run in.  Even though it isn't one of my more favorite routes (lots of downtown lights and heavy traffic running) it turned out to be a good run.

However, that brings us to today.  I had planned 6 miles.  I thought about getting up early to do it.  I didn't even get my clothes ready.  I had to take Emme and Jonny in to get their flu vaccines at 9:40, so I couldn't run right after breakfast.  The plan was to go after we took Emme back to school.  Instead, we came home and had an early lunch.  I thought maybe we would go after lunch so the kids could nap in the stroller but nope I put them in their beds.  They are upstairs napping and here I sit.  I don't feel like running.  It's my favorite time of year to run.  The sun is actually out, the leaves are beautiful, it is crisp but not cold, yet here I sit.  Again, I don't feel like running.

I don't think I'm burned out.  I know that running makes me happy and I know that I'll feel better if I just go for a run but I don't want to.  I even have a race (a fairly big one - for me at least) I'm kind of sort of training for (we'll see... how's that for commitment?!) so you'd think that would give me the motivation I need.  For whatever reason, I just don't feel like running today.  I'm not especially tired and nothing even hurts... I'm just not motivated.  I guess that is okay... as long as it is just today that I give in to it... there is always tomorrow and Saturday.  The week isn't over yet.

Now to find some motivation to do some dishes and laundry and cleaning... ugh.


Amanda@runninghood said...

Hey girl. I hear ya...when the motivation isn't there, it just isn't. Ebb and flow...cycles of life. :) Sorry our schedules didn't align just right today. It was nice touching base though. You are so blessed to live here!! Runners EVERYWHERE! A mecca indeed!

Heather said...

I told you--text me if you are planning an early morning run. I'll meet you. Then you'll have to suffer my wrath if you don't get out of bed. And you don't want that to happen!

Kristin said...

My first thought was- take a few days off. Taking a few days off always makes me so eager to run again. Considering you just finished a kick-ass marathon, maybe you need a couple extra days of rest. Don't be too hard on yourself, whatever you decided to do.

Teamarcia said...

As long as it doesn't become a habit right? I've definitely felt the same way.

XLMIC said...

Seems like a bunch of us are in this boat lately :( Have faith that it will return. Don't get down on yourself about it. Give yourself the space to chill. The cyclic nature of life and all that :) Anyway, this is what I keep trying to tell myself :P

You are awesome, Laurie!

And did you see? I registered for Eugene :)

Dick said... left a note on my desk on one of your trips to Klamath that says "Go for a'll make you happy." Maybe you should use your artistic talents and make yourself a poster that says exactly what you left for me. Stick it on the ceiling over your bed, or on your fridge, or someplace else where you'll see it...and then FOLLOW YOUR OWN ADVICE!!