Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Using his powers for evil...

In the world of people with "the" as a middle name there have been some notables.  For example, Alexander the Great, Conan the Barbarian... um, well I can't think of any others, but I'm sure there are some (did you know they are making a new Conan?!  Better yet, did you know there was an old one or am I really dating myself?).  Well, let me introduce you to the new up and coming force to be reckoned with...

Jonathan THE Destroyer!!
Don't let those big blue eyes and that peaceful look fool you.  He is absolute terror bottled up into a little impish body and is most likely merely planning out his next course of destruction.  

See, this picture says, "I am up to no good."

Jonathan THE Destroyer has super sonic powers that are used purely for evil and destruction.  I don't know if you remember the great foam roller debacle or the demise of Spruce Bruce (my poor potted plant) but those were just his jumping off points.   "Ol' Destro" has moved on and has gotten wiser in his maturing years.  His favorite past times now include: 
  • ripping pages out of books... cookbooks, the kids' books, church books, magazines, you name it, he'll destroy it (needless to say we keep him in lock down on trips to the library)
  • turning off the TV and/or Wii right at the best parts of movies/games (he loves the squeals of discontent it elicits from the viewers/players)
  • don't even think about leaving your laptop or garmin or cell phone unattended, he'll be all over it faster than you can blink... sometimes leaving it unattended isn't even the issue as he loves to climb on the table while you are blogging and just push the power button while shaking his head evilly
  • taking rocks from out of the "lucky bamboo" which he then shoves, by the handful, into his mouth while laughing manically
  • climbing onto the bathroom counter, where he used to just brush his teeth in the sink, but now has moved onto emptying the entire contents of the medicine cabinet
  • and if there is something he can't quite reach, don't worry, he'll find a way to get it...

  • even locks won't hold him back


Sometimes he tries to be sneaky with cool disguises (and the help of his siblings) but his intentions are usually pretty transparent.


Let the warning be taken seriously, Jonathan THE Destroyer is most likely headed in your direction.  He is coming to steal your toys

and destroy the possessions you hold most dear.  It is very possible he is armed with either a toilet brush or that stick thing you use to keep your sliding glass door closed.
He is currently sporting a nice welt/bruise on the side of his face (results of his most recent escapade, being a super villain does have its drawbacks).  
Be on the lookout.  Beware. Be warned.  Spread the fear.

10 comments:

eep said...

Ha. I also have a destroyer, about the same age as yours. We call him the Kraken, as in "I am about to Release the Kraken! from the highchair."

Joleane said...

LOL!!!
Love the blue marker face!

Heather said...

I love it. We have a little Miss Destructo now in our house too (makes sense, seeing as they're the same age!). And her preferred method of expression is throwing herself on the ground in a knock-down-drag-out TANTRUM. I think she spends 90% of her waking hours in tears....

me/mom/NANA said...

Okay this is a great post. I LOVE IT... We can't wait to see this little angel in action. Now watch he will be just perfect while he is here, wouldn't you just know it.
I think I agree with Joleane and the blue faces are my favorite.

Catey said...

hahaha! Awesome! Ok, maybe not awesome while you're living it, but awesome to see that there are others out there who live the same amazing chaos that I do, all packaged up in a tiny toddler body. Misery loves company. :P

XLMIC said...

I'm with Catey... this misery is loving your company :P

Miss C is two and just started doing CRAZY stuff. Just batten down the hatches... the storm is in full effect!

Stephanie said...

Wow, he's well into toddler-hood, it seems. :S I'm sorry you have to fight the forces of evil already. What a cheeky little guy!

me/mom/NANA said...

Just another thought... what is he going to be like when he "gets into the terrible 2s"?

FruitFly said...

You sure do you have your hands full now, don't you!?! At least he is really cute and seems to always sport that great smile!

P said...

Love this post - too, too funny!! But mostly because my kids are old enough to be past that stage. :) Don't worry, it only gets worse. Uh, I mean "better."