Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Letter to my Nike Plus Sportband

Dear Nike Plus Sportband,

Things are getting pretty tense between us lately.  Almost two weeks ago you managed to be an entire mile off on my long run.  Yes, I know that I am partly to blame because I have been playing around with my stride a little bit, which is what you rely on for your accuracy.  So, after a few calibration adjustments you had been measuring pretty well again.  That was until this morning.  Today was supposed to be an amazingly awesome tempo run for me.  I did everything on my part to make it be so.  I set my alarm for a little before 4am so that I could get dressed and get Jonny tucked in nice and cozy with Dan before I set out on my adventure.  That's right, it was going to be just me and you, my somewhat untrustworthy Nike Plus Sportband, no kid in a stroller, and it was going to be epic.

For the run, I chose a one mile warm up route that I have done countless times.  For that you were right on, 1.00 miles.  Perfect.  That brought us to the Adidas Amazon Trail, a very well maintained 1 mile loop.  Unfortunately that also brought us to where we began to part our ways.  See the thing about this trail is that it is exactly one mile.  It's not almost or approximately, it is Exactly. One. Mile.  You however, oh my poor poor Nike Plus Sportband, seemed to think otherwise.  When we got to the beginning of the 1 mile loop I reset you because, since you don't have anyway to record lap splits (lame), I wanted to start at 0 so I could at least get an average per lap pace for the 6 miles we were about to embark on.

And we were off.  I used my headlamp, since you don't have any sort of back light (lame), to keep an eye on my pace.  My goal was 7:41.  You immediately were jumping all over the place but barely staying under 8:00... ugh.  Okay, fair enough I thought, this is the first lap, it's cold, I probably should have worn full length tights I'm probably not being very consistent, once I warm up I'll get into a groove.  Then we were all the way around the loop and did you say one mile?  Nope. 0.96.  Okay, well that's close.  I was probably running the tangents a bit too much, I'll stay to the side of the trail on lap 2.
Mile 2 - 1.80 miles Ugh!
Mile 3 - 2.72 miles.  You weren't even staying consistent in your inconsistencies.
Mile 4 - 3.75 miles
You might remember at this point that I was getting pretty frustrated and may have called you a few choice names.  None of the which resembled anything close to "you fantastically wonderful piece of accurate loveliness."  I spent the entire 5th mile cursing you in my head and thinking about how angry I was that I had gotten up so early to come out in the freezing cold weather for this amazing run and that you were ruining it for me.
Mile 5 - 5.67
Finally, for the last and final mile of my repeat I turned you to the time of day because that is one thing you can do accurately.
Mile 6 - 6.56 miles
You did keep the time well so at least, since I know the distance For. A. Fact. to be 6 miles, I know that I ran the tempo part of my run in 44:14 (7:22 pace) which makes me happy.  But what does that make you, an overly priced stopwatch that can't even take splits?

Again, I understand that your accuracy is based on my stride, which apparently must change drastically between my easy runs and my speed work.  I guess what I'm saying is I think my running has outgrown you.  I need something that can do it all, and do it accurately, without being adjusted every. single. run.  I love that you have hung out with me for the past 1200+ miles, have inaccurately taken me through many races, and that you were a very thoughtful birthday present from Dan, but even that sentimental value can only get you so far and I fear that our time together is quickly coming to an end.  I hope you understand.

Sincerely,
your still slightly frustrated with the way you preformed today, although not angry because despite you, it ended up being a great run, running partner,
Laurie

P.S.  Once I've saved up to purchase your replacement, I'll be happy to find you a new and loving running partner on craigslist.

19 comments:

misszippy said...

Hope he doesn't take it too hard! Good luck with it.

Jill said...

I had that little Nike sensor type thingie for my shoe for awhile and yeah, I ran a 10K race once and the thingie said I ran 4.8 miles. After that it was adios!

Kovas said...

Parting is such sweet sorrow

FruitFly said...

1200+ miles?? Wow - you sure gave it a go MUCH longer than I lasted with just the Nike+ sensor. I mean it was better than nothing, but I could never get mine properly calibrated.

You had your quality time together, now it is time to look ahead to a happier future with a new electronic partner!

XLMIC said...

"Irreconcilable differences"…

I'd say you gave things a more-than admirable shot at working out ;-) Heave ho!

Wishing you consistency and accuracy in your next gadget relationship :)

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

Ha! I just posted about my stupid sensor last week! Garmin all the way now!

Teamarcia said...

SOunds like you two have grown apart. Here's to a more trustworthy replacement.

Run with Jess said...

Too funny!! I remember the day when I first got my Nike+ Sportwatch. It was so cool in pink, and I was so excited to have a running "toy". After numerous calibrations, I've given up on it after a year of trying. Hoping the GPS in my new iPhone will be more reliable.

Emz said...

I
loved
this.

A craigslist partner. awesome. ;)

ElizabethLacy said...

Man, I could have written this post!

Mine gets mad when I do anything different... like run in snow or ice, run with yaktrax, run on a treadmill, etc. I've come to distrust it a lot lately....

Kristin @NyceLife said...

My Garmin tells me the trail around the YMCA which is supposed to be exactly 1 mile is in fact .91. SO frustrating to just not KNOW!

P said...

Yep, you are definitely ready for a new running partner (*cough*GARMIN*cough*). Awesome job on your tempo, though, even with Mr. Inconsistent timing you!

LB said...

put that thing on craigslist and get a garmin girl!

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

Time for a Garmin, I agree with P. Crash has never let me down and always treats me right.

Forward Foot Strides said...

Mine is resting neglected and peacefully on a shelf, it once told me I had just finished my half marathon. Somewhere towards the end of the 19k mark.

Molly said...

At least it ended up being a good run!

tri like mary said...

I found the necessity to calibrate and the resulting inaccuracies on my Nike+ very annoying. Went Garmin, and never went back! The 305 is fairly cost efficient.

Elizabeth said...

My Nike sportsband lasted about 1 month before I bought my Garmin. The Nike was off everytime. Love my Garmin though!!! Best investment...

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