Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Staying Positive

While I was sitting here trying to figure out something to blog about, Dan was flipping through our 5 channels and happened to stop on OPB where I just watched one of the saddest things I have ever seen. There is a place in Haiti, called Cité Soleil where they make and eat "dirt cookies". These are cow pie looking cookies that are made of a little bit of vegetable oil, salt, sometimes sugar, and dirt. The women mix it all together and make what is essentially a mud pie that then sits in the sun and bakes until it is in a hardened cookie form. If that isn't bad enough, they actually pay for the dirt. It is shipped in, bagged, on trucks. When they don't have enough to pay for it, the women will purchase the dirt on credit. It is amazing to me how tremendously different living situations can be for people and it makes me feel so guilty that I have ever complained about not having enough. I am truly so blessed.

Anyway, on a much lighter note... Thanks for all the positive comments about me and my inability to run. I've really been feeling quite sorry for myself, which is pretty pathetic. I think it finally sunk in today, that in somewhere around 7 weeks (or if I'm lucky, a little less) I'll be done with this pregnancy. I cannot believe how fast it has gone. I guess I'm as ready as I'll be. Leona is settled into her "big girl bed". The crib is set up and ready to go (minus a mattress). All the baby clothes are washed and organized. (Thank you so much Elizabeth for hooking us up... you are amazing!) I even took the time yesterday to pack a bag for the hospital. I am ready, well... I'm organized.

I'm not 100% sure that I'll ever be completely ready. With this being my 4th baby, I know exactly what I've gotten myself into and let me tell you, there is a lot I am not ready for, i.e. birth, nursing, recovery from labor, having a screaming infant (if he's anything like Leona) to take care of... I've tried really hard to get super excited. I took out some of the smallest little clothes and looked at them imagining how cute and tiny he will be, but then reality sets in and I think about getting up a million times more a night than I already do, changing thousands of diapers, trying to keep Leona off of me while I am nursing... it should be interesting. I'm sure I sound like all I am doing is complaining. I don't mean to, I'm just being realistic (maybe slightly pessimistic). I really am getting kind of excited and I know that once he is here it will all be good (exhausting, but good). And, if I ever start having too much of a pity party, I can think about the poor souls in Haiti, who have now lost what little bit of home they had and are living off of dirt cookies and it should snap me right out of it.

2 comments:

me/mom/NANA said...

You are an amazing young mother. Even with all the things going on in your home, family and body you still show pity for others. Leona is going to be so much help once her baby brother arrives. Who better than Leona to translate for you just what the baby will need, afterall she probably remembers him, before they came to earth. She must be even more excited about his pending arrival. They will have so much to talk about. I for one can't wait to watch them together. The love they already have for each other will be easy to see. Just try to relax and enjoy life with "3" children while it lasts. You are such a great mother of 3 that I know 4 will be no big deal for you.

Tom North said...

Not to mention that they have to go through child birth also in far scarier conditions...but I'm a guy so I'll just shut up. My hat's off to you for even wanting a kid let alone giving birth to one!